Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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