one might say we're banned from that church
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
