I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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