she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's blow job season.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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