If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think pants incapable of making pants work
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
