what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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