I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
