I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
