he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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