my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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