that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
