Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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