Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
