I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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