he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
