i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
