Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
