i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if i can run in heels then i can drive
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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