If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
