I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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