I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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