Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We just shotgunned beers for America
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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