Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
