you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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