We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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