you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
