My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
