i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm eating all of the evidence.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize