im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
