the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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