i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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