I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
