My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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