Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
