how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
