And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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