Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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