He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She bit a glass in half.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
