you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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