He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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