I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
