Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
