did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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