Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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