just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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