Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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