Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
