I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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