oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
