tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
