i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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