Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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