Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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