ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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