I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
