There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
