I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
