Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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